The Superior Purple Drank
by Chairmanz Fluffy
Summary: Kanye West goes to Ooo and meets Jake/Finn goes to Chicago and meets Eminem. That's how it all starts.
1. The Genesis

**Author's note:**

**Because this is a fanfiction, remember to review. In fact, review on every chapter. Multiple times. Review multiple times on each chapter. As a fanfiction writer, I need my ego stroked constantly. And only positive reinforcement. Send me positive reinforcement only. Not even constructive criticism. As a fanfiction writer, I'll get unstable if someone criticizes anything about or relating to me. I also own Adventure Time and the entirety of hip-hop. All of it. That's why I'm on a website called " ".**

Kanye awoke in the grasslands of Ooo.

"...?" was his only thought.

The god of hip-hop shifted around in the grass trying to orient himself. He finally planted his hands in the grass, adjusted his feet, and pulled himself up. Thoughts bounced around Kanye's head. He saw Finn and Jake's tree house in front of him.

"Nah-no, yeah, I'll ask whoever lives there where I am." Kanye thought to himself.

After shuffling to the door in a half-awake stumble, he gave a couple of knocks on the door. There was no answer. He could vaguely make out someone saying:

"Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh!"

The door quickly opened. Jake the Dog was standing before Yeezy. Kanye was confused as to why a talking dog was in his realm.

"What?!" Jake demanded.

"Hey man, no need to get loud." Kanye responded.

"Yeah there is! My best friend just disappeared!"

"What do you mean?"

"My bud Finn found a potion and said he should take it and I let him take it and now he's gone and it's all my fault!"

Kanye slowly started to realize the crisis he found himself in.

"Where am I?"

"The grasslands!"

"Of what?"

"Ooo!"

Kanye realized that something absolutely insidious had happened.

"I'm saying, though, man..." Kanye said.

"What is it? What is it, baby?" Jake interrogated.

"..."

"What is it, son? What is it?"

"..."

"You know what time it is?"

"I'm saying, man, ya know what I'm saying? Ya need to listen, man. Representin', it's the Raymers."


	2. His Name is

**Author's note:**

**I'm getting unstable...**

Finn awoke in the streets of Chicago.

"Wuh?" Finn mumbled.

The rough cement felt strange to Finn. He came from Ooo: a land that has not yet fully adapted to a modern city structure. The hero of Ooo looked around and noticed the cars and buildings creating the rhythms of an urban environment. He wondered if he fell unconscious in a far-off kingdom.

When he stood up, he finally realized something that was more shocking than anything else: there were humans around him. Hundreds, maybe thousands of them were merely walking by. For his entire life, he was the only human that existed and now there were thousands surrounding him nonchalantly meandering. He needed clarification for what Finn would consider "cray"; he decided to talk to someone on the street.

"Hey!" he called to a hooded bystander next to him.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Where am I?"

"6th street?"

"Which kingdom?"

"Kingdom?"

"Yeah, kingdom."

"Do you want change or somethin'?"

"No, just the name of the kingdom I'm in."

"You're in Chicago, are you good now?"

"Chicago Kingdom? That's a stupid name."

"Heh, are you joking or are you for real with all this kingdom stuff?"

Finn realized that he probably shouldn't say yes. Even though kingdoms were commonplace where he came from, they didn't seem to exist in this so-called "Chicago".

"Am I in an insane dimension? This is too nanners." Finn thought to himself.

"Ha, yeah, I'm joking..." Finn said before trailing off.

He then started to frantically think.

"Drat-crepes, Finn-we gotta say something! If we don't, this guy is gonna walk away and we won't know where we are..."

"Hol' up, are you Finn?"

"Yeah! What part of Ooo am I in? There's, like, humans n' stuff. I've never seen a human in my whole life, and now they're everywhere. It's cray."

"Let me explain somethin', Finn. You ain't in Ooo, anymore. You're in a different dimension. The potion you drank-somethin' called 'The Superior Purple Drank'-is a rare potion that switches the dranker with one of the Raymers."

"So, wait, like..."

"Just listen; the Raymers are rappers that decided to hold the balance of hip-hopdom. Without the Raymers, even without one, this multi-verse dies."

"What about the other multi-verses?"

"They're fine, but we live in this one, so those other ones don't matter."

"Okay, sorry for interrupting, I was just-"

"No, it's cool. But like I was saying: we need to get four Raymers: one of West Coast, one of East Coast, one of South Coast, and one of Mid-West Coast. With their powers combined, we can undo The Superior Purple Drank."

"Okay, but how do I-"

"You can help me find the Raymers. You also need to be there when they undo The Superior Purple Drank."

"But how-"

"I knew who you were because I'm a Raymer. Raymers know everything hip-hop and you just became hip-hop business. And my name is Eminem. Call me 'Em'."

"You-"

"Yeah, I have to do this explanation more than I should have to. People just drank potions randomly. Do you know how many hip-hop destroyin' potions there are? Have some gatdam common sense for once. Damn..."

"..."


	3. Life's a Bitch

**Author's note:**

**It's starting to taste good**

"Whoa!" Jake exclaimed after Yeezy explained the situation.

"Yeah, I know. It's pretty cray." Kanye agreed.

"What are we gonna do to fix this?"

"We can't do nothin' 'bout findin' the Raymers, but when they call me back to their dimension, I need to be standing in a dope circle."

"A dope circle?"

"It's a circle made of 15 dope things. If I'm not in one when the Raymers call me, I won't cross over to my dimension."

"Alright, first things first. We gotta tell Peebs this."

"The ruler of the Candy Kingdom?"

"How do you know Peebs?"

"It's that thing with hip-hop business. This dimension is becoming hip-hop business, so I know 'bout her. It's as AZ said: I'm starting to 'Visualize the realism of life in actuality'."

Suddenly, P-Bubs entered through the door.

"Whoa! Prin-B, why're you here?" Jake confusedly stammered.

"My science junk notified me of this guy entering into our dimension. After my science junk notified me, I tapped your phone line and heard the entire conversation." Preebs said.

"Obama... NSA... Illuminati..." Yeezy mumbled.

"We must quickly create the portal to your dimension." P-Babble told 'Ye.

"You mean the dope circle?" Kanye asked.

"Yeah, that. But we must hasten! Use this teleporter to get to the Candy Kingdom. It's like, hecka' environmentally safe."

Pueblo, Yeez and Jake Doggy Dog valiantly walked on to the cold and metallic teleporter. And before you could say "Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you?", they were at the Candy Kingdom-in the isolative room the princess called her "Science Room".

"Kanye, how do we start making the dope circle?" Jake asked Kanye.

"There's really nothin' to it. Just a circle of things that are objectively dope all on the floor in a circle... in a circle like... like anything that resembles a circle... Like those glasses you're wearing, Princess. Those're dope."

The Princess cleared out a space on the floor and set her glasses down on the floor in the middle of her office. And thus, the dope circle was born.

**Author's note:**

**Reviews... Ratings... a/n... Parenthesis... Ebola... Stephen Colbert...**


	4. Last Call

**Author's note:**

**He doesn't know me. I said that I was different from other patients, but according to him, all I have to do is stop. He said the last thing that will go is my writing ability, but I'll show him.**

"Aight, well, I'm a Mid-West Coast Raymer, so one of the Coasts is already covered. Since we're closest to the East Coast, we should go to the South Coast next." Eminem stated.

"I'm really feeling it!" said an autotuned voiced.

It was T-Pain-along with AZ and Kendrick Lamar.

"Uh... Who are you guys?" Finn asked.

"We're Raymers of every coast." said K-Dot.

"How did you all get here?" Eminem asked.

"We teleported through the power of T-Pain's autotune." said Kendrick.

"I didn't know he could do that, but it doesn't matter. Have you brought the summoning cardboard?" said Eminem.

"No, but-" AZ was about to say before the Mr. Obama appeared before our valiant heroes.

"There's no need to find summoning cardboard, I have premium summoning cardboard for your endeavor." he said.

"Okay, time to send Finn back to his realm, hopefully Kanye West has the dope circle".

"Kanye, I found a box of dope things!" said Finn.

"Dope put them in the circle." said Kanye.

"What do we need to review do?" said Prince Gumball?

We just need to chant".

Kanye sarted changting with the Raymers until Eminem passed over to.

"Yay, we can review anything now said Chairmanz Fluffy."

Critical praise was everywhere. With Finn aand Eminem. ANd all the others-

If you're tired of writing, sstop. He said.

maybe

If you don't feel satisfied with it, stop

I know but I feel like I have an obligation to finish it

But you told me that you thought it wasn't that funny. You also said that it didn't have any meaning. You said that it was run-of-the-mill fanfiction. Yeah, it might have been a dud, but it doesn't matter. You're ruining your life.

I just… I j-just have to finish it. I need the reviews

If you are actually serious about what you are telling me, you have serious mental disabilities.

No, but-

It's turning into a borderline parody of Adult Swim shows. Just stop writing.

You're right, it's just-

Take a deep breath, and stop writing. It doesn't matter. Reviews don't matter. None of it matters; just live your life. There's so much more that you could be experiencing that you are throwing away for something that is completely meaningless. If you stop writing, the urge, the craving, all of it will go away.

O-o-okay. I'll try.


End file.
